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Extra English 2 (Hectors Going Shopping) . 2

: Extra English 2 (Hectors Going Shopping) . 2 .

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Narrative

ANNIE [reading email message/replying to email]
Whats he like?
Oh. Argentinian tall handsome.
Oh, wow, fantastic! A new boyfriend for you maybe! [Laughs/sneezes]
Maybe, but dont tell Bridget!

BRIDGET
Hector please, call me Gigi.

ANNIE
Oh Hector, call me Gigi.
Oh.
[sending email] Must go. More news later. A.

BRIDGET
Is Hector still asleep?

ANNIE
Yep.

BRIDGET
Aah.
Hector, wakey-wakey.
Come on, rise and shine.

Hector makes snoring noises

ANNIE
Sweet!

BRIDGET
Oh, good morning. [Sneezes]

HECTOR
Oh, good morning. [Sneezes]

ANNIE
Uh, no, no, no, good morning, ah-ah-ah.

HECTOR
Good morning, ah-ah-ah.

ANNIE
No Hector, I have a cold.

BRIDGET
And so have I.

HECTOR
Oh you have a cold, Bridget.

 

BRIDGET
Yes, I have a cold.

ANNIE
Yes, we have a cold, so lets begin again.
Good morning.

HECTOR
Good morning.

BRIDGET
Oh never mind.
Hector, would you like some
New pyjamas?

HECTOR
Mmm?

BRIDGET
Hector, please excuse me for a moment.
Annie, bathroom. Now!

HECTOR
Good morning.

NICK
Good morning.
Is it fancy dress?

HECTOR
Fancy dress?
Yes.

NICK
Oh, nice.
Hey, nice car, ay.

HECTOR
I have this car at home.

NICK
Wow, you have this car at home.

HECTOR
Ahm.

NICK
Girls must love you.

HECTOR
Girls, no.

NICK
No?
Hector, can I tell you something?

 

HECTOR
OK.

NICK
The car looks good.

HECTOR
Ah-ay.

NICK
Ay.
So you must look good too! Ha-hmm?

HECTOR
I look good!

NICK
No.
You dont look good.
But I can help.

HECTOR
OK!

NICK
OK!

BRIDGET
Hectors clothes are awful!

ANNIE
Oh, theyre so old fashioned!

BRIDGET
I know, Ill take him shopping.

ANNIE
But Bridget youre so busy that Ill take him shopping.

BRIDGET
No, its all right, Ill take him shopping.

ANNIE
But theres no problem, Ill take him shopping.

BRIDGET
I said Ill take him shopping!!

Sound of sneezing

NICK
You need, you need a oh hi, babe!

BRIDGET
Oh its you, Nick.

 

ANNIE
Oh hi, Nick.

NICK
Hector has asked me what clothes to wear.

BRIDGET
Yeah, right.

NICK
You need a look, like on a fast bike.

BRIDGET
No, no, no, no, Hector, dont listen to Nick, listen to me.

HECTOR
OK.

BRIDGET
You need a designer look.

ANNIE
No, no, no, Hector, thats not for you.
You need, you need a cowboy look.

NICK
No, no, a leather jacket.

BRIDGET
A bandanna and a vest.

ANNIE
A denim shirt.

NICK
A motor bike!

BRIDGET
Designer!

ANNIE
Cowboy!

HECTOR
Ah, stop!!
OK, I will go shopping.

BRIDGET
What?

ANNIE
On your own?

NICK
But you need us!

 

HECTOR
Ah, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

ANNIE
How?
What will you say?

HECTOR
Erm

NICK
Its OK, leave it to me.
I am the shopkeeper, you are the customer.

HECTOR
Uh?

NICK
This is a shop.
I sell, you buy.

HECTOR
Oh, OK.
Oh, ding-dong.
Good morning.

NICK
Good morning!
Can I help you?

HECTOR
Yes.
I I

NICK
I would like

HECTOR
I would like a jacket, please.

NICK
Trousers.

HECTOR
Uh?

NICK
I would like a pair of trousers please.

HECTOR
Oh, I would like a pair of trou-sers please.
- And a shirt.

NICK
No. shoes.
I would like a pair of shoes, please.

HECTOR
I would like a pair of shoes, please.
And a cat for my head.

NICK
I think you mean a hat.

HECTOR
Eh?

NICK
This is a cat!

HECTOR
[Laughs]
A cat for my head!

ANNIE
Hector, come shopping with me.

BRIDGET
Or me.

ANNIE
No, me.

BRIDGET
Hes my pen friend!

NICK
All right!
Me, you and you will go shopping for Hector a little bit each
I will go to the shoe shop.

ANNIE
And I will go to the clothes shop.

BRIDGET
No, Ill go to the clothes shop!

ANNIE
OK, Ill just buy the shirt.

BRIDGET
Ill buy the trousers!

NICK
Good! Hah!

HECTOR
Good.

ANNIE
Right, lets go!
Oh, no, I completely forgot!
We need, eggs, lemons and dog food.

Oh, its all right, Ill do it on line later.

HECTOR
Eggs, lemon, dog food.

ANNIE
Oh well done, Hector.

BRIDGET
Bye Hector.
Oh and dont answer the phone, it might be the tarantula.

HECTOR
OK.

NICK
Bye Hector, be good.
And if you cant be good, be careful.
Ha-ha.

HECTOR
Eh?

NICK
Never mind!

ANNIE [sending email]
Nadia I have a cold.
Bridget has a cold and Hector has

BRIDGET
New pyjamas.

ANNIE [sending email]
Terrible pyjamas.
Oh, you should see them Nadia.
They are so funny!

BRIDGET [sending email]
Hi, sweetie.
I wanted to buy Hector some new clothes on my own.
Ill take him shopping.
But Annie and Nick said they wanted to shop for Hector as well.
So guess what?
Were all going shopping for Hector.

NICK
Me, you and you can go shopping for Hector, a little bit each.

BRIDGET [sending email]
What will he look like?

NICK [sending email]
And Annie thinks Hector needs a cowboy look.

ANNIE
He needs a cowboy look!

NICK [sending email]
But I think he needs a biker look like me!
Yeah!

NICK
You need a look, like on a fast bike!

HECTOR
Good morning sir.
I would like a cat for my head!
Oh, room service.
Hello, I would like an egg for my head, ha-ha!
Lemons for my head!

Intercom buzzes

HECTOR
Oh, dog food for my head.

Landlady [Speaking on intercom]
Whos that?

HECTOR
Aah!
The tarantula!

Landlady [Speaking on intercom]
I said, whos that?

HECTOR
Hello.

Landlady [Speaking on intercom]
Wheres Bridget?

HECTOR
Erm, where is Bridget?
Me, I am Bridget.

Landlady [Speaking on intercom]
I dont believe you.

HECTOR
Yes, I have a cold! [Sneezes]

Landlady [Speaking on intercom]
Oh, Im sorry.

HECTOR
[Sneezes]
Oh, thank you. [Sneezes]

Dog barks

HECTOR
Ssh!
Charlie!

Landlady [Speaking on intercom]
Is that a dog?

HECTOR
No, no, it is not a dog, Annie has a cold also!

Landlady [Speaking on intercom]
Oh, poor Annie.

HECTOR
Thank you.
[Sneezes]
Now goodbye!
[Sneezes]
Oh, oh ole!
I am Hector, I speak Englis
Eggs, lemons, dog food.
Eggs, lemons, dog food.

HECTOR
Oh hi, [erm] good, good afternoon Annie.

ANNIE
Good afternoon Hector.
I bought this for you.

HECTOR
Oh, what is it?

ANNIE
Try it on.

HECTOR
Eh?

ANNIE
TRY IT ON!

HECTOR
TRY IT ON?
Oh, try it on!
Oh, ah.

BRIDGET
Wheres Hector?

ANNIE
In the bathroom.

BRIDGET
Good.
Ill give this to him.

ANNIE
Its OK, Ill give it to him!

BRIDGET
No, its all right.

Sound of knocking on door

BRIDGET
Hector

ANNIE
Hector

BRIDGET
Ive got something for you.

HECTOR
Oh, OK.
Come in.

BRIDGET
Spoil sport!

NICK
Hector!
Hector!

HECTOR
Hello.

NICK
Here are your clothes, you will look so cool.

HECTOR
Cool?

NICK
Co-ol.

HECTOR
Cool!

NICK
Nice melons!

BRIDGET
Melons?
Who are those from?

ANNIE
Ah, I think Hector has been shopping online.
Oh, Im really thirsty, I need a drink.

BRIDGET
But we dont need any melons!

 

 

ANNIE
Well he did try!
And he bought some eggs.
Yeah, just a few.

NICK [sending email]
Yo Dan!
Hector did the shopping today.
Nice melons.
He bought one hundred and forty four eggs.

ANNIE
Just a few.

NICK
And ten melons instead of ten lemons.
What an idiot.
Ha!

HECTOR
I would like some eggs please.
I would like some lemons please.
And oh, dog food for my head!
Ha, ha, ha, thank you!

ANNIE [sending email]
I went shopping for Hector today and bought him something really cool!
I cannot wait for him to try it on.
ANNIE
TRY IT ON.

BRIDGET [sending email]
I went to the clothes shop and bought Hector a really trendy outfit!
He will look just like David Beckham!

BRIDGET
Ive got something for you!

ANNIE
So how did Hector do the shopping?
Ah-ha!
Hector ordered ten melons instead of ten lemons.
Oh, an easy mistake, he did try.

BRIDGET
Yes, he did try.

NICK
And what about the eggs?

ANNIE
OK, eggs.
You buy a dozen eggs, yeah.

NICK
Yep, a dozen is ten.

BRIDGET
A dozen is twelve, stupid!

NICK
I know!

ANNIE
Well Hector has put the number twelve here.

NICK
Well thats OK, thats one box.

ANNIE
No, he ordered twelve boxes.

BRIDGET
One hundred and forty four.

ANNIE
Now, dog food.

NICK
Ha, ha, I cant wait!

HECTOR
OK, Im ready!

NICK
Were ready!

BRIDGET
Enter!

HECTOR
Do you like it?
Well?

ANNIE
Ah [erm] I like the shirt.

BRIDGET
I like the sarong.

NICK
I like the shoes.

HECTOR
So, am I co-ol?

NICK, BRIDGET & ANNIE
[Erm].

HECTOR
No.
Im not cool.

 

NICK, BRIDGET & ANNIE
[Erm] no.

HECTOR
So, I will go shopping.

NICK
Here we go again.
Hector! You cant go out there on your own.
You went shopping on the Internet.

HECTOR
Yes.

NICK
Ha-ha!
You ordered melons instead of lemons and too many eggs.
Have you ever been to a supermarket?

HECTOR
No.
My

NICK
Who are these?

HECTOR
My

NICK
Servants.

HECTOR
Yeah, my servants..

NICK
Servants.
Now I understand.

BRIDGET
Come on Hector, I will teach you how to shop, Hector

ANNIE
Till you drop.
Bridget and I will be the shopkeepers.

BRIDGET
And you are our customer!

HECTOR
OK. [Clears throat]
Good afternoon.

BRIDGET
Good afternoon!

 

ANNIE
Can I help you sir?

HECTOR
Eh?

BRIDGET
What would you like to buy?

HECTOR
Oh, I would like some

ANNIE
Clothes!

HECTOR
Yes, I would like some clothes, please.

BRIDGET
What size?

HECTOR
Eh?

BRIDGET
What size.

HECTOR
I dont know.

BRIDGET
Ill have to measure you then.
Arms up please.

HECTOR
Eh?

ANNIE
Arms up, please.

HECTOR
Oh, arms up, please.

BRIDGET
Chest.
Ooh! One hundred and twelve centimetres!

ANNIE
Chest, one hundred and twelve centimetres.

BRIDGET
And waist.
Eighty two centimetres.

ANNIE
Waist, eighty two centimetres.

BRIDGET
And l-e-g!! [laughs]

NICK
Ill do that!

BRIDGET
No, its OK!

NICK
[Clears throat]
Eight-ty seven centimetres!

BRIDGET
Now, do you like these trousers?

ANNIE
Do you like this shirt?

HECTOR
Ye-es.

BRIDGET
Good, thats [erm]
Five thousand pounds.

HECTOR
OK.

ANNIE
No, no, no Hector.
Five thousand pounds is, is eight thousand dollars!

HECTOR
Yeah.

BRIDGET
Its too much, its too expensive.

NICK
Not for Hector!

HECTOR
So, I am ready to go shopping!
Ha ha!

ANNIE
Good luck.

BRIDGET
Yeah, good luck.

NICK
Youll need it!

BRIDGET & ANNIE
[Sneezing]

BRIDGET
Wheres my lemon drink, Nick?

ANNIE
Nick, are there any more tissues?

NICK
All right, Im coming as fast as I can!
OK.

ANNIE
Oh, I feel awful.

BRIDGET
Oh, me too.
Nothing will make me feel better.

Sound of knocking on door

ANNIE
Oh, can you get that please Nick?

NICK
Oh, its only Hector.

HECTOR
Well, is it cool?

NICK
Wow, man! Well done!
You look great!

HECTOR
I would like a shirt, please.

BRIDGET
Excellent!
Oh the clothes are super!

HECTOR
And a pair of trou-sers.

ANNIE
Oh, you are clever, Hector!

HECTOR
And a pair of shoes, please! [Laughs]
I have been shopping!

Sound of intercom

BRIDGET
Oh, Ill get it.
Hello.

 

Landlady [Speaking on intercom]
Its me.

BRIDGET
Oh, hello.
Its the tarantula!
How are you?

Landlady [Speaking on intercom]
Fine, thank you.

BRIDGET
Oh, good, good.

Landlady [Speaking on intercom]
Hows your cold?

BRIDGET
Hows my cold?
Well how did you know I have a cold?

Landlady [Speaking on intercom]
You told me this morning.

HECTOR
Me, I am Bridget.

Landlady [Speaking on intercom]
I dont believe you.

HECTOR
Yes, I have a cold. [Sneezes]

Landlady [Speaking on intercom]
Oh, Im sorry.

HECTOR
Thank you.
[Sneezes]

BRIDGET
Yes, silly me!
I told you this morning.

Landlady [Speaking on intercom]
Why are four hundred tins of dog food here for Annie?

BRIDGET
Pardon?
I dont know.
Well, how strange!

Landlady [Speaking on intercom]
Four hundred tins.

 

BRIDGET
Yes, thats a lot of tins.
Well I really dont know.

Landlady [Speaking on intercom]
Can you ask Annie?

BRIDGET
Yes, Ill ask Annie, goodbye.
The tarantula said, why have four hundred tins of dog food downstairs?

ANNIE
Four hundred tins?

NICK, BRIDGET & ANNIE
Hector!!

 

COMMENTARY [v.o.]
Next time in EXTRA.
Annie goes dating on the Internet and so do Nick and Hector, but do they like their dates?

Extra dont miss it!

Extra English 2 (Hectors Going Shopping) . 2
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