> > Extra English>28

Extra English 28 (Christmas) . 28

: Extra English 28 (Christmas) . 28 .

<<< 28 vkontakte>>>

Christmas music

ANNIE
Mmm. I love this time of year! Sleigh bells, mince pies, presents under the tree!

HECTOR
What? Easter?

ANNIE
No, silly! Christmas!

HECTOR
Oh!!

ANNIE
Im going to show you what a traditional English Christmas is like, starting with mistletoe.

HECTOR
Mistle-toe?

ANNIE
Its an English tradition.
When you stand under it, you can kiss someone.

HECTOR
But I am not under any mistletoe.

ANNIE
You are now.

HECTOR
Oh-ho-ho!!

BRIDGET
Oh, you poor things! Youre stuck together again. Dont worry, I can help! There, panic over!
Right, Im off.

ANNIE
What? Another television party?

BRIDGET
Not a party, three more parties. And thats just tonight.

ANNIE
But youve been to a Christmas party every night for two weeks!

BRIDGET
I know, its so difficult being so popular. First, theres a champagne party at the Savoy, then at nine o'clock Ill get a taxi to the Ritz and get changed on the way.


HECTOR

What? In the taxi?

BRIDGET

Naturally.

HECTOR

Ho-ho-ho.

BRIDGET

And then at eleven thirty Ill get a taxi to Annabels.

HECTOR

Annabel, who is she?

BRIDGET

Annabels, the night club.

HECTOR

Will you change your clothes in the taxi again?!

BRIDGET

And there I hope I will meet a young, handsome man, an early Christmas present!

Sound of door slamming

 

NICK

I hate Christmas!

BRIDGET

Did you have a bad day at the grotto dear?

NICK

Ha-hmm!

ANNIE

Nick, is that snow?

NICK

No.

ANNIE

Well, whats that on your beard then?

NICK

I was holding this baby coo-goo-goo-goo, when suddenly ergh! Ha, Christmas!

ANNIE

But children love Christmas.

NICK

Hmm.

BRIDGET

Is the money good?


NICK

N-Yeah.

BRIDGET

Well, stop complaining then!

NICK

S-sss!

ANNIE

Hector and I are going to have a lovely Christmas, arent we Hector.

HECTOR

Mmm.

BRIDGET

Christmas is all about parties and PRESENTS!

ANNIE

So Bridget, have you got your Christmas stocking ready?

HECTOR

Ha! Shes taking her stockings off in the taxi!

NICK

Ahh! Ha-hmm-hmm.

BRIDGET

Dont wait up.

Sound of door closing

 

HECTOR

Erm, what is a Christmas stocking?

ANNIE

On Christmas Eve, you hang up your Christmas stocking and a big, jolly Father Christmas comes and fills it up with presents!

NICK

Ho-ho-ho.

Crashing noise/scream

 

BRIDGET

Who put that sleigh there?!!

NICK

Ooh! My sleigh! I forgot. Oh-oh-oh!

Sound of running footsteps/door slams/Christmas music

 

BRIDGET

Mind my leg. Oh!!


 

Assorted background noises

BRIDGET

Right, right. Whoa-whoa, not too fast! Oh, I feel terrible!

ANNIE

Oh, poor Bridget, are you in pain?

BRIDGET

No, but what about the parties? I cant go like this!

NICK

I could take you dancing!

BRIDGET

Ow!!
Christmas is cancelled!

Sound of cracker being pulled

 

NICK

Hey, hee-hee-hee!

HECTOR

Is that it?

NICK

Yeah, crackers are great!

HECTOR

So, what else do you have at Christmas?

NICK

Oh, turkey, Christmas pudding, mince pies.

HECTOR

Mince pies.
How do you make them?

NICK

Oh, its just pastry and mincemeat.

HECTOR

Mince meat?

NICK

Yeah, its traditional, its sultanas, raisins and spices. Its mince

HECTOR

Meat.

NICK

Yeah, ah-hah Hey, listen to this, what do you get if you cross a chicken with a clock?

HECTOR

I dont know.


NICK

An alarm cluck!
An alarm cluck! Ha-ha!

HECTOR

I dont get it.

NICK

An alarm cluck! Cluck-cluck-cluck, one a cluck, two a cluck, cluck-cluck-cluck!

HECTOR

A clock?!

Christmas music

 

ANNIE [Composing email]

Oh, I love Christmas. Mince pies, mistletoe.

HECTOR

Mistle-toe?

ANNIE

Its an English tradition, when you stand under it, you can kiss someone.

ANNIE [Composing email]

Poor Nick is having a difficult time playing Father Christmas.

NICK

I was holding this baby coo-goo-goo-goo, when suddenly !

ANNIE [Composing email]

Those naughty children! He-he-he!

BRIDGET [Composing email]

I hate Christmas! I had so many exciting parties to go to.

BRIDGET

Its so difficult being so popular.

BRIDGET [Composing email]

But stupid Nick left his stupid sleigh in the hall.

NICK

Oh, my sleigh! I forgot!

BRIDGET [Composing email]

I fell over it and broke my leg!

Crashing noise/scream

 

Christmas music

HECTOR

Boom-dikka-ding-boom-ding-ding-ding right, mince pies!
First, the pastry! And now the minced meat from the best butcher!


Christmas music

 

HECTOR

Mmm, they smell good, dont they Charley.

Sound of door opening/closing

 

ANNIE

Phew! Well Ive finished all my Christmas shopping.

HECTOR

Oh madam! Refreshment? Mince pie?

ANNIE

Mince pies? Oh Hector, you are clever.

HECTOR

I followed the rec-eep.

ANNIE

p.

HECTOR

Mince p?

ANNIE

No, no, no. Rec-ipe.

HECTOR

Oh, rec-ipe.

ANNIE

Mmm.

HECTOR

Hmm.

ANNIE

Umm.

HECTOR

Good choice, madam. Merry Christmas!

ANNIE

Yuk!!

HECTOR

Something wrong?

ANNIE

Its dal-icious, delicious ahm. Erm, you know, Hector, Christmas is all about sharing. Erm, would you like some, Charley?

ANNIE & HECTOR

Hmm/Mmm/Umm.


ANNIE

Hey, its Saint Nicholas!

NICK

Oh!

HECTOR

Nick, what happened to your beard?

NICK

Ah, one Christmas candle, one small child woomph!

Laughter

 

NICK

Hey, mince pies, yummy, yeah!

HECTOR

With best mince from the best butcher. Mmm.

ANNIE

Erm, Hector.

HECTOR

Hmm?

ANNIE

What did you put in the pies?

HECTOR

Mince meat from the best butcher.

ANNIE

This is mincemeat. This is minced meat.

HECTOR

Isnt it the same thing?

ANNIE

Not quite.

NICK

Ha-ha! Delicious!

ANNIE

Hey, Ive got an idea! Lets make this a special Christmas, just for Bridget.

Sound of knocking on door/Christmas music

 

MALE NURSE

Night-night.

ANNIE Hey Bridget, do you want to come carol singing?

HECTOR

Who is Carol?

ANNIE

Carols are Christmas songs. You knock on peoples doors and sing to them for money.

NICK

Lets do it! Hmm!

ANNIE

For charity!
For poor little children.

NICK

Huh!

ANNIE

Some children have no Christmas.

BRIDGET

Just like me.

ANNIE

And your job as Santa Claus is so important.
You help children to believe in Christmas!

NICK

Yes, youre right, Annie, I do.
My job is important! I help children to believe!!

Christmas music

 

ANNIE

Right, lets go!

BRIDGET

Ill go, only if we can sing Abba songs.

HECTOR

And that will make you happy? Here, have a mince pie.

BRIDGET

Oh, all right.

Christmas music

 

BRIDGET

Ugh!

BRIDGET, HECTOR, ANNIE & NICK

Away in a manger

OFF SCREEN VOICE

Dog in a manger, more like, good night!

BRIDGET, HECTOR, ANNIE & NICK

Silent night

OFF SCREEN VOICE

I wish you were, all night!

BRIDGET, HECTOR, ANNIE & NICK

We Three Kings of Orient are one on a scooter, one in a car .

OFF SCREEN VOICE

Get lost!

BRIDGET, HECTOR, ANNIE & NICK

Merrily on high

OFF SCREEN VOICE

Get em Gnasher.

Sound of dog barking

 

BRIDGET, HECTOR, ANNIE & NICK

O Come All Ye Faithful, joyful and triumph

Sound of dogs barking

 

BRIDGET

[Voice fades into background singing O Come All Ye Faithful]

Christmas music

 

HECTOR

Hi Annie, I like the tree.

ANNIE

Oh thank you, its nearly finished.

HECTOR

Please, use these. My decorations.

ANNIE

Oh, sweet, Hector. Are they from Argentina?

HECTOR

No, Oxford Street. Arent they great!

ANNIE

Oh, great.

Sound of door opening/closing

 

ANNIE

Oh, hi Nick. How was your last day as Santa Claus?

NICK

Great! Such nice children. One of them let me play with his binoculars!

ANNIE

Really.

NICK

Oh, and Ive just finished my Christmas shopping.

ANNIE

But the shops are shut now.

NICK

No, the petrol station was open. Look Ive bought my mum this.

HECTOR

A map of Watford.

ANNIE

But your mum doesnt live in Watford.

NICK

Oh I know. She might go there one day, though! I bought shampoo for my sister.

HECTOR

Car shampoo.

NICK

Yeah, and after shave for my dad. Ha-ha-ha! Mmm.
I like the tree. Ooh, but I love these! Hey, Ive got some too, it was the last day of the grotto today, so they were throwing these away. Ha-ha, can you believe it! Ha-ha!

Christmas music

 

ANNIE

No!

Christmas music

 

HECTOR & NICK

Perfect.

ANNIE

Well, it might make Bridget laugh.

HECTOR

Why?

ANNIE

I know, if Bridget cant go to her parties, lets have a party here!

NICK

When?

ANNIE

Oh, I dont know. In about fifteen minutes!

BRIDGET

Oh! Oh! Look at the Christmas tree!

 

ANNIE

I know. It makes me want to cry too.

BRIDGET

Whats the point of having Christmas if I cant go to my Christmas party?! Now Christmas just makes me cry!

HECTOR

Oh, Bridget, cheer up. Tomorrow is Christmas Day.

BRIDGET

[Sound of crying]

HECTOR

Have you got your stocking?

BRIDGET

Yes.

 

NICK

Hah, yes, and Ive got mine!

ANNIE

What are you hoping for? A motor bike?

NICK

Ye-es! Why not?

BRIDGET

The only thing that will make this Christmas worse is if you invited all my friends round for a surprise party to cheer me up.

Sound of knocking on door

 

ANNIE

Ah.

ASSORTED VOICES

Surprise!!

BRIDGET

Oh!!

ANNIE [Composing email]

Hector made us mince pies.

HECTOR

And now the mince meat, from the best butcher!

ANNIE [Composing email]

The problem is, he used minced meat, instead of mincemeat.

ANNIE

Yuk!

ANNIE [Composing email]

Oh well! He did try!

HECTOR

They smell good, dont they Charley.

HECTOR, NICK, BRIDGET & ANNIE

Silent Night

NICK [Composing email]

To cheer Bridget up, we went carol singing.

ANNIE, NICK, BRIDGET & HECTOR

We Three Kings of Orient are one on a scooter, one in a car

OFF SCREEN VOICE

Good night!

NICK [Composing email]

People loved us!

BRIDGET

Joyful and triumph

ANNIE [Composing email]

I also organized a surprise party for Bridget, she was surprised!

Sound of knocking on door

 

ANNIE

Ah.

ASSORTED VOICES

Surprise!!

BRIDGET

No-oo!

ANNIE [Composing email]

Tomorrow is Christmas Day and Bernard is coming for lunch. What fun!

Christmas music/sound of knocking on door

 

ANNIE

Hang on, Im coming!

BERNARD

Ho-ho-ho, merry Christmas!

ANNIE

Oh, hello Bernard, merry Christmas.
Im sorry, we had a little party last night.

BERNARD

Erm, Im here for dinner.

ANNIE

Isnt it a bit early?

BERNARD

Ten o'clock, time for a sherry.

ANNIE

Bernard, wheres your mother?

BERNARD

At church.

Sound of TV being switched on

 

ANNIE

Well Ill just go and get dressed.

Christmas music

 

NICK

To Bernard, Love from Annie. Ha-ha.

BERNARD

Sherry. Thanks, Annie. Nearly finished this one.

NICK

To Bridget, Love from Annie.

BRIDGET

A a flea collar. I havent got fleas!

ANNIE

Im sorry, Bridget, wrong label. It was meant for Charley!

NICK

Hah! Is she sure it was meant for Charley?! Ha-ha! To Bridget, from Hector. Ooh!

BRIDGET

Oh thank you Hector, you shouldnt have. What to Wear at Christmas Parties. Oh!!

HECTOR

I bought it before you

BRIDGET

Ive got a little something for you, Nick.

NICK

Whoo-hoo, goody! Gorilla because you are the original man. Whoo, ha-ha, it smells like a gorilla.

BRIDGET

Well, you should know.

NICK

Ooh, I wonder what this could be. Ah.

HECTOR

Merry Christmas, sugar plum.

ANNIE

Merry Christmas, snugly-puppykins.
One heart, forever.

BRIDGET

This will stop it!

ANNIE

Bridget, nothing will stop my love for Hector.

Sound of coughing

 

ANNIE

Well

Christmas music/sound of knocking on door

 

EUNICE MOUNTAIN

I just called to say Merry Christmas!
Ah! Mmm!

Christmas music

 

EUNICE MOUNTAIN

Ah! Hector, Mmm.
Bridget, what has happened to you?

BRIDGET

I had an accident.

EUNICE MOUNTAIN

Oh, what a pity! Youve missed some fabulous parties, especially at the Beckhams. Elton John, hes a very naughty boy! Ha! Still, never mind, there is always next year. OK, must dash. Off to a top restaurant for lunch.

BRIDGET

Erm, Eunice.

EUNICE MOUNTAIN

Yes.

BRIDGET

Before you go, have a mince pie. Nick.

EUNICE MOUNTAIN

Oh.


Spraying noise

 

EUNICE MOUNTAIN

Oh, I shouldnt.
But, its Christmas.

BERNARD

Its true, there is a Santa!
And shes a woman! Wait for me!
I want to tell you what I really want for Christmas!

NICK

Ha-ha-ha!

HECTOR

Hey, can you smell something?

NICK

Yeah. Is something burning?!

HECTOR

Ah, I forgot - the turkey!

Christmas music/assorted noises/shouting

 

HECTOR

Water, water, we need water!
Not on me! On the turkey!

NICK

Oooh!

Assorted noises/shouting

 

HECTOR

Move! Move!

Assorted noises/shouting

 

HECTOR

There, the fire is out.

NICK

Anyone for turkey?!

ANNIE

Shall we just have pudding?

BRIDGET

Erm, no mince pies, thanks.

HECTOR

Oh, I have another surprise for you. Another English Christmas tradition. Chocolate log. One slice or two?

Christmas music/sound of sawing

 

COMMENTARY [v.o.]

Next time in EXTRA, Nick wants to join the SAS, Bridget and Annie train the boys for action and why is Hector home so late?

ANNIE

Hello, Hector!

COMMENTARY [v.o.]

 

EXTRA, dont miss it!

Extra English 28 (Christmas) . 28
Copyright 2005-2018. ! ! homeenglish@mail.ru