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10 причин моей ненависти/ Ten Thing I Hate About You
PATRICK
(continuing)
I watched you out there I've never
seen you look like that
Kat steps away, brushing the hair back that he just touched
Her cheeks pinken.
His cocky side is back in a flash
PATRICK
(continuing)
Come to that party with me.
At that moment, the band starts another SONG
KAT
(yelling)
What?
The bartender approaches.
BARTENDER
(to Kat, yelling)
You forgot to pay!
PATRICK
(yelling)
I got it, Rick.
He tosses some bills on the bar
Rather than thank him, Kat simply watches him, trying to
figure out his motive.
PATRICK
(continuing;
yelling)
Nine-thirty then.
A few people have gotten between them at the bar and she
can't hear a word he's saying. She gives him one last look
and heads back into the crowd.
Patrick smiles. She didn't say no this time.
EXT. CLUB SKUNK - NIGHT
The crowd files out of the club, Kat and Mandella amongst
them. A^ they're walking toward the parking lot, Patrick
coasts by in his truck. The gears GRIND. He yells out the
window.
MANDELLA
What'd he say?
KAT
Who cares?
Mandella watches Kat as she stares after Patrick
MANDELLA
Has he importun'd you with love in
honourable fashion?
Kat glances sharply at her.
MANDELLA
(continuing; off
her look)
Don't be Cruella with me. I'm in favor
of romance. You're the one that wants
to march on Washington every five
minutes.
Kat pokes her, then looks back at the club dreamily.
KAT
Gigglepuss was so beyond.
Mandella nods.
MANDELLA
They were. I only wish William could
have been here to witness the rebirth of
punk rock with us.
Kat links her arm through Mandella's and they head for the
car.
KAT
So true.
INT. HALLWAY - DAY
Cameron and Michael are at Michael's locker.
CAMERON
So, then she says that she almost
didn't wear the Kenneth Coles with that
dress because she thought she was
mixing, you know, genres. And the fact
that I noticed -- and I'm quoting here -
"really meant something."
Cameron looks At Michael expectantly
MICHAEL
You told me that part already.
CAMERON
Hell, I've just been going over the
whole thing in my head and -
Joey appears over Cameron's shoulder.
JOEY
Hey. Dingo Boingo
Cameron and Michael look at each other And turn around
slowly
JOEY
(continuing; to
Michael)
I hear you're helpin' Verona.
MICHAEL
Uh, yeah. We're old friend*
JOEY
You and Verona?
MICHAEL
What? We took bathes together when we
were kids.
It's incredibly obvious that he's lying. Joey eyes him then
turns to Cameron.
JOEY
What's your gig in all this?
CAMERON
I'm just the new guy.
Joey turns back to Michael, grabbing the alligator on his
shirt and twisting it.
JOEY
You better not fuck this up. I'm
heavily invested.
MICHAEL
Hey -- it's all for the higher good
right?
Joey lets go of Michael and SHOVES Cameron against a locker
for good measure, as he walks away-
CAMERON
Is it about me?
EXT. MISS PERKY'S OFFICE - DAY
Kat sits outside waiting for her appointment, bored and
annoyed.
The door opens and Miss Perky escorts Patrick out
MISS PERKY
You're completely demented.
PATRICK
(cheery)
See you next week!
Kat stands and Patrick sees her.
Miss Perky watches in horror
MISS PERKY
You two know each other?
PATRICK/KAT
Yeah/No.
Miss Perky grabs Kat and shoves her into her office.
MISS PERKY
(to Patrick)
Dear God, stay away from her. If you
two ever decided to breed, evil would
truly walk the earth.
Patrick gives Kat one last look before the door shuts, then
smiles-
EXT. STRATFORD HOUSE - NIGHT
The lights are on, illuminating the yard
INT. STRATFORD HOUSE/UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - NIGHT
Bianca and Chastity stand outside Kat's room. MUSIC is
blaring and the door is shut. Bianca looks at her watch
BIANCA
She's obviously not going.
INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Across the carpet, two pairs of teenage girl feet sneak
past. Bianca and Chastity, teddy bear purses in hand.
FROM THE KITCHEN A RUSTLING is heard. The girls freeze.
Walter emerges from the kitchen with a mile-high sandwich
The girls are like statues. Walter jumps.
BIANCA
Daddy, I --
WALTER
And where're you going?
BIANCA
If you must know, we were attempting to
go to a small study group of friends.
WALTER
Otherwise known as an orgy?
BIANCA
It's just a party. Daddy, but I knew
you'd forbid me to go since "Gloria
Steinem" over there isn't going --
She points to Kat -- Walkman blaring -- who comes
downstairs, wearing a baby tee and battered Levis. Her
relaxing-at-home look is about 400 times sexier than her at-
school look. She wanders toward the kitchen.
Walter directs his attention toward Kat.
WALTER
Do you know about any party? Katarina?
Kat shrugs as she comes back out of the kitchen with an
apple
BIANCA
Daddy, people expect me to be there!
WALTER
If Kat's not going, you're not going.
Bianca turns to Kat, eyes ablaze
BIANCA
You're ruining my life' Because you
won't be normal, I can't be normal.
KAT
What's normal?
BIANCA
Bogey Lowenstein's party is normal, but
you're too busy listening to Bitches Who
Need Prozac to know that.
WALTER
What's a Bogey Lowenstein?
Kat takes off her earphones, ready to do battle
BIANCA
Can't you forget for just one night
that you're completely wretched?
KAT
At least I'm not a clouted fen- sucked
hedge-pig.
Bianca tosses her hair.
BIANCA
Like I'm supposed to know what that
even means.
KAT
It's Shakespeare. Maybe you've heard
of him?
BIANCA
Yeah, he's your freak friend Mandella's
boyfriend. I guess since I'm not
allowed to go out, I should obsess over
a dead guy, too.
WALTER
Girls
Kat stares Bianca down
KAT
I know about the goddamn party. I'm
going.
Bianca and Chastity look at each other, thrilled, and burst
into gleeful screams.
A startled Walter clutches Bianca in a protective hug.
WALTER
Oh, God. It's starting.
BIANCA
It's just a party. Daddy.
Walter looks dazed.
WALTER
Wear the belly before you go.
BIANCA
Daddy, no!
WALTER
Just for a minute
He rushes to a cupboard and pulls out a padded faux-
pregnancy belly.
WALTER
(continuing)
I want you to realize the weight of
your decisions.
He hangs the belly on her as she stands mortified.
BIANCA
You are so completely unbalanced.
KAT
Can we go now?
Scanned by http://freemoviescripts.com
Formatting by http://simplyscripts.home.att.net
WALTER
(to Bianca)
Promise me you won't talk to any boys
unless your sister is present.
BIANCA
Why?
WALTER
Because she'll scare them away.
Kat stomps to the door, grabbing her car keys off the hall
table and a sweater from the coat rack. She flings open the
door and...
There stands Patrick.
PATRICK
Nine-thirty right?
Kat's in shock
PATRICK
(continuing)
I'm early.
She holds up her keys
KAT
I'm driving.
He peeks in behind her.
PATRICK
Who knocked up your sister?
INT. BOGEY LOWENSTEIN'S HOUSE - NIGHT
BOGEY, a short Future MBA in a tux, greets his guests like a
pro, handing out cigars and martinis.
BOGEY
Nice to see you. Martini bar to the
right, shots in the kitchen.
The house is filled to capacity with Padua High's finest Kat
pushes through the crowd. Patrick saunters in behind her
INT. BOGEY'S KITCHEN - NIGHT
Joey lines up a row of shots amid much whooping and
hollering within the jock crowd.
Kat enters, then quickly tries to make an about face. Joey
sees her and rushes over to block her, standing in the
doorway.
JOEY
Lookin' fresh tonight, Pussy-Kat
Kat gives him a death look and then stops and points at his
forehead.
KAT
Wait -- was that?-- Did your hairline
just recede?
He panics, whipping out a handy pocket mirror She's
already walking away.
JOEY
Where ya goin?
KAT
Away.
JOEY
Your sister here?
Kat's face shows utter hatred
KAT
Leave my sister alone.
JOEY
(smirking)
And why would I do that?
A RUCKUS sounds from the next room
JOCK
A fight!
The other jocks rush to watch as two Coffee Kids splash
their cupfuls on each other.
COFFEE KID #1
That was a New Guinea Peaberry, you
Folger's-crystals-slurping-buttwipe.
Caffeinated fists fly. Joey slithers away from the door to
watch, giving Kat one last smirk, just as Bianca walks into
the kitchen.
JOEY
Just who I was looking for.
He puts his arm around Bianca and escorts her out
KAT
BIANCA
Bianca keeps walking, ignoring Kat
A GUY pouring shots hands Kat one She downs it and accepts
another.
GUY
Drink up, sister.
Patrick walks up
PATRICK
What's this?
KAT
(mocking)
"I'm getting trashed, man." Isn't that
what you're supposed to do at a party?
PATRICK
I say, do what you wanna do.
KAT
Funny, you're the only one
She downs another.
INT. BOGEY'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Cameron and Michael enter. Cameron looks, around for his
beloved, while Michael schmoozee with all in attendance and
dishes dirt simultaneously.
MICHAEL
(high-fiving a
jock)
Moose, my man!
(to Cameron)
Ranked fifth in the state. Recruiters
have already started calling.
Cameron nods intently
MICHAEL
(continuing;
grabbing his belt)
Yo, Clem.
(to Cameron)
A Patsy Cline fan, but hates the new
Leanne Rimes.
(with a Jamaican
swagger)
Ziggy, peace, bra.
(to Cameron)
Prefers a water pipe, but has been
known to use a bong.
Michael spots Bianca and Chastity, watching the skirmish,
and points Cameron's body in her direction.
MICHAEL
(continuing)
Follow the love, man
ON BIANCA AND CHASTITY Bianca cranes her neck
BIANCA
Where did he go? He was just here.
CHASTITY
Who?
BIANCA
Joey.
Cameron walks over.
CAMERON
Evening, ladies.
Bianca turns and graces him with a pained smile.
BIANCA
Hi.
CAMERON
Looks like things worked out tonight,
huh?
Bianca ignores the question and tries to pawn him off
BIANCA
You know Chastity?
CAMERON
I believe we share an art instructor
CHASTITY
Great
BIANCA
Would you mind getting me a drink,
Cameron?
CAMERON
Certainly
Pabst? Old Milwaukee? RaiJieer?
Bianca gives him a tense smile.
BIANCA
Surprise me.
He heads for the kitchen. Joey walks up and grabs her
around the waist.
She giggles as he picks her up and carries her off -- just
as Cameron returns, a beer -- complete with a napkin and
straw -- in his hand.
Chastity glares with a jealous fury after Bianca and Joey,
then gives Cameron the once-over and walks away.
Michael appears.
MICHAEL
Extremely unfortunate maneuver.
CAMERON
The hell is that? What kind of 'guy
just picks up a girl and carries her
away while you're talking to her?
MICHAEL
Buttholus extremus. But hey, you're
making progress.
CAMERON
No, I ' m not.
He smacks himself in the head
CAMERON
(continuing)
She used me! She wants to go out with
Dorsey. Not me. I'm an idiot!
Michael pats him on the shoulder.
MICHAEL
At least you're self-aware
BOGEY'S KITCHEN - NIGHT
Kat and a crowd of White Rastas and Cowboys stand in a
drunken group hug singing "I Shot the Sheriff". Kat has
another shot glass in hand.
Patrick is showing a scar to an inebriated, enraptured
cheerleader. He looks up at Kat and smiles meets his eyes
then looks away.
INT. BOGEY'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Bianca stands next to Joey, sipping from her beer
JOEY
So yeah, I've got the Sears catalog
thing going -- and the tube sock gig "
that's gonna be huge. And then I'm up
for an ad for Queen Harry next week.
BIANCA
Queen Harry?
JOEY
It's a gay cruise line, but I'll be,
like, wearing a uniform and stuff.
Bianca tries to appear impressed, but it's getting
difficult.
BIANCA
Neat...
JOEY
My agent says I've got a good shot at
being the Prada guy next year.
He looks over her shoulder and waves at someone. Bianca
takes the opportunity to escape.
BIANCA
I'll be right back.
INT. BOGEY'S BATHROOM - NIGHT
Bianca shuts the door and leans on it with a sigh. Chastity
applies lip-gloss in the mirror.
BIANCA
He practically proposed when he found
out we had the same dermatologist. I
mean. Dr. Bonchowski is great an all,
but he's not exactly relevant party
conversation.
CHASTITY
Is he oily or dry?
BIANCA
Combination. I don't know -- I thought
he'd be different. More of a
gentleman...
Chastity rolls her eyes
CHASTITY
Bianca, I don't think the highlights of
dating Joey Dorsey are going to include
door-opening and coat-holding.
BIANCA
Sometimes I wonder if the guys we're
supposed to want to go out with are the
ones we actually want to go out with,
you know?
CHASTITY
All I know is -- I'd give up my private
line to go out with a guy like Joey.
There's a KNOCK at the door. Bianca opens it to find a very
drunken Kat.
KAT
Bianca, I need to talk to you -- I need
to tell you --
BIANCA
(cutting her off)
I really don't think I need any social
advice from you right now.
Bianca grabs Chastity's arm and they exit
INT. BOGEY'S KITCHEN - NIGHT - LATER
Patrick tries to remove a shot glass from Kat's hand.
PATRICK
Maybe you should let me have it.
Kat is fierce in her refusal to let go
KAT
I want another one
Joey enters, grabbing Patrick by the shoulder, distracting
him from his task.
JOEY
My man
As Patrick turns, Kat breaks free and dives into the sea of
dancing people in the dining room.
PATRICK
(annoyed)
It's about time.
JOEY
A deal's a deal.
He peels off some bills
JOEY
(continuing)
How'd you do it?
PATRICK
Do what?
JOEY
Get her to act like a human
A very drunken Kat jumps up onto the kitchen island and
starts dancing by herself. She lets loose, hair flying.
She's almost burlesque.
Others form a crowd, clapping and cheering her on
She swings her head around BANGING it on a copper pot
hanging from the rack above the center island. She starts
to sway, then goes down as Patrick rushes over to catch her.
The others CLAP, thinking this is a wonderful finale.
Patrick sets her down on her feet, holding her up
PATRICK
Okay?
KAT
I'm fine. I'm
She tries to push him away, but staggers when she does grabs
her again, bracing her.
PATRICK
You're not okay.
KAT
I just need to lie down for awhile
PATRICK
Uh, uh. You lie down and you'll go to
sleep
KAT
I know, just let me sleep
PATRICK
What if you have a concussion? My dog
went to sleep with a concussion and woke
up a vegetable. Not that I could tell
the difference...
She tries to sit on the floor
KAT
Okay, I'll just sleep but stay awake,
okay?
He pulls her back to her
PATRICK
C'mon, let's walk
INT. BOGEY'S DINING ROOM - NIGHT
As Patrick walks Kat through the dining room, Cameron grabs
his arm.
CAMERON We need to talk.
PATRICK
Cameron, I'm a little busy
CAMERON
It's off. The whole thing.
Kat slides down to the floor and Patrick struggles to get h
back on her feet.
PATRICK
What 're you talking about?
CAMERON
She's partial to Joey, not me
Patrick doesn't have time for this.
PATRICK
Cameron -- do you like the girl?
CAMERON
Sure
PATRICK
(impatient)
Then, go get her
Patrick continues walking an oblivious Kat outside. Cameron
stands there, unsure how to make use of this advice
EXT. BOGEY LOWENSTEIN'S HOUSE - NIGHT
Patrick marches Kat around the yard, holding her up
KAT
This is so patronizing.
PATRICK
Leave it to you to use big words when
you're shitfaced.
KAT
Why 're you doing this?
PATRICK
I told you
KAT
You don't care if I die
PATRICK
Sure, I do
KAT
Why?
PATRICK
Because then I'd have to start taking
out girls who like me.
KAT
Like you could find one
PATRICK
See that? Who needs affection when
I've got blind hatred?
KAT
Just let me sit down.
He walks her over to the swingset and plops her down in a
swing, moving her hands to hang onto the chains.
PATRICK
How's that?
She sits and looks at him for a moment with a smile. Then
FALLS over backward.
PATRICK
(continuing)
Jesus. You're like a weeble
Patrick rushes to right her, then starts pushing her on the
swing to keep her entertained.
PATRICK
(continuing)
Why'd you let him get to you?
KAT
Who?
PATRICK
Dorsey.
KAT
I hate him.
PATRICK
I know. It'd have to be a pretty big
deal to get you to mainline tequila. You
don't seem like the type.
KAT
(holding up a
drunken head)
Hey man. . . You don ' t think I can
be "cool"? You don't think I can be
"laid back" like everyone else?
PATRICK
(slightly
sarcastic)
I thought you were above all that
KAT
You know what they say
He stops the swing
PATRICK
No. What do they say?
Kat is asleep, her head resting against the swing's chains.
PATRICK
(continuing)
Shit!
He drags her to her feet and starts singing loudly.
PATRICK
(continuing)
Jingle Bells! Jingle Belles! Wake up
damn it!
He sits her down on the slide and shakes her like a rag
doll.
PATRICK
(continuing)
Kat! Wake up!
KAT
(waking)
What?
He sighs with relief.
PATRICK
I thought you were...
They share some meaningful eye contact. And then she PUKES
on his shoes.
INT. BOGEY'S BATHROOM - NIGHT
Kat washes her face and grabs a bottle of Scope, taking a
big swig.
A KNOCK sounds at the door
KAT
Go away
Bianca opens the door and looks at her sister with the
smuggest of all possible grins.
BIANCA
Dinner taste better on the way out?
Gives her a "don't even start" look.
BIANCA
(continuing)
I don't get you. You act like you're
too good for any of this, and then you
go totally apeshit when you get here.
KAT
You're welcome.
She pushes past her and leaves the bathroom.
KAT'S CAR - NIGHT
Kat's in the driver's seat. Patrick leans in and takes the
keys out of the ignition.
PATRICK
Cute
BOGEY LOWENSTEIN'S HOUSE - NIGHT
Kids loiter on the lawn. Bianca and Chastity walk outside
Joey catches up to them.
JOEY
A bunch of us are going to Jaret's
house. Wanna come?
Chastity looks at Bianca, who wears a pained expression.
She looks at her watch.
BIANCA
I have to be home in twenty minutes.
CHASTITY
(eagerly, to Joey)
I don't have to be home 'til two.
JOEY
Then, c'mon.
(to Bianca)
Maybe next time --
They head back into the party, leaving an astonished Bianca
Cameron exits the party and stops when he sees Bianca
standing alone.
CAMERON
(slightly
accusatory)
Have fun tonight?
BIANCA
Tons
He starts to walk on
BIANCA
(continuing)
Cameron?
He stops. She gives him a helpless smile.
BIANCA
(continuing)
Do you think you could give me a ride
home?
INT. KAT'S CAR - NIGHT
Patrick drives as Kat sits in the passenger seat, fiddling
with the radio dial. She finds a SONG she's happy with and
Patrick quickly changes it.
PATRICK
I'm driving, so I get to pick the
tunes.
She changes it back to her song.
KAT
It's my car.
He changes it back.
PATRICK
And I'm in control of it.
KAT
But it's Gigglepuss - I know you like
them. I saw you there.
Patrick doesn't have an answer for this, so he let's her
listen to her song.
KAT
(continuing)
When you were gone last year -- where
were you?
PATRICK
Busy
KAT
Were you in jail?
PATRICK
Maybe.
KAT
No, you weren't
PATRICK
Then why'd you ask?
KAT
Why'd you lie?
He doesn't answer, but instead, frowns and turns up the
music. She bobs her head drunkenly.
KAT
(continuing)
I should do this.
PATRICK
Do what?
KAT
This.
She points to the radio
PATRICK
Start a band?
KAT
(sarcastically)
My father wouldn't approve of that that
PATRICK
You don't strike me as the type that
would ask permission.
She turns to look at him.
KAT
Oh, so now you think you know me?
PATRICK
I'm gettin' there
Her voice loses it's venom
KAT
The only thing people know about me is
that I'm "scary".
He turns to look at her -- she looks anything but scary
right now. He tries to hide his smile.
PATRICK
Yeah -- well, I'm no picnic myself.
They eye each other, sharing a moment of connection,
realizing they're both created the same exterior for
themselves.
Patrick pulls into her driveway and shuts off the motor. He
looks up at her house.
PATRICK
(continuing)
So what ' s up with your dad? He a
pain in the ass?
KAT
He just wants me to be someone I'm not.
PATRICK
Who?
KAT
BIANCA
PATRICK
No offense, but you're sister is
without. I know everyone likes her and
all, but ...
Kat stares at him with new admiration.
KAT
You know -- you're not as vile as I
thought you were.
She leans drunkenly toward him.
Their faces grow closer as if they're about to kiss And then
Patrick turns away
PATRICK
So, I'll see you in school
Kat stares at him, pissed. Then gets out of the car,
SLAMMING the door shut behind her.
CAMERON'S CAR - NIGHT
Bianca and Cameron ride in silence.
He finally breaks it.
CAMERON
I looked for you back at the party, but
you always seemed to be "occupied".
BIANCA
(faux-innocence )
I was?
CAMERON
You never wanted to go out with 'me,
did you?
Bianca bites her lip.
BIANCA
(reluctant)
Well, no...
CAMERON
Then that's all you had to say.
BIANCA
But
CAMERON
You always been this selfish?
BIANCA thinks a minute
He pulls up in front of the house
CAMERON
Just because you're beautiful, doesn't
mean you can treat people like they
don't matter.
She looks at him for a moment -- then grabs his face and
gives him a kiss on the lips. He draws back in surprise,
then kisses her back. She smiles, then gets out of the car
without another word.
Cameron grins and drives away
CAMERON
(continuing)
And I'm back in the saddle.
INT. ENGLISH CLASS - DAY
Kat sits at her desk, burying her face in a book as the
others enter. The White Rastas are first.
DEREK
Kat, my lady, you sway to the rhythm of
my heart.
He grabs her hand and kisses it as she pulls it away.
CLEM, a cowboy, enters, high-fiving Derek with new-found
friendliness.
CLEM
Yippe kai-aye, bra.
(to Kat)
Dance for me, cowgirl.
He sits next to Derek
CLEM
(continuing)
Okay, now tell me again why he didn't
shoot the deputy?
DEREK
Because the deputy meant him no harm,
my friend. It was only the sheriff that
was the oppressor.
Joey saunters in and takes his seat.
JOEY
Kat, babe, you were on fire.
Mrs. Blaise enters and sits at her desk
MRS. BLAISE
Well now, did everyone have a good
weekend?
JOEY
Maybe we should ask Verona
Patrick enters, late, and slinks to his desk. Kat looks up,
down and around, everywhere but at Patrick.
Mrs. Blaise tries to remember what she's supposed to talk
about.
MRS. BLAISE
Okay then. Well.
(beat)
Oh, yes
She clears her throat.
MRS. BLAISE
(continuing)
I'd like you all to write your own
version of Shakespeare's Sonnet #141.
Groans.
MRS. BLAISE
(continuing)
Any form you'd like. Rhyme, no rhyme,
whatever. I'd like to see you elaborate
on his theme, however. Let's read it
aloud, shall we? Anyone?
The class is frozen in apathy.
MRS. BLAISE
(continuing)
Derek?
Ms. Blaise hands him the sonnet. He shifts uncomfortably in
his seat. Then grins.
DEREK
(reading; in his
Rasta stoner drawl)
In faith, I do not love thee with mine
eyes/ For they in thee a thousand errors
note/ But 'tis my heart that loves what
they despise/ Who in despite of view is
pleas 'd to dote.
In the back of the room Clem raises his hand
CLEM
Ms. Blaise, can I get the bathroom
pass? Damn if Shakespeare don't act as
a laxative on my person.
INT. KENNY'S THAI FOOD DINER - DAY
Kat and Mandella scrape the peanuts out of their sauce.
MANDELLA
You went to the party? I thought we
were officially opposed to suburban
social activity.
KAT
I didn't have a choice.
MANDELLA
You didn't have a choice? Where's Kat
and what have you done with her?
KAT
I did Bianca a favor and it backfired.
MANDELLA
You didn't
KAT
I got drunk. I puked. I got rejected.
It was big fun.
Patrick enters, walking to the counter to order. He sees Kat
and smiles.
PATRICK
Hey
She gathers her things and bolts out the door. Patrick
looks at Mandella, who shrugs and follows Kat.
INT. BIOLOGY CLASS - DAY Cameron and Michael flank Patrick
at his lab table
MICHAEL
So you got cozy with she who stings?
PATRICK
No - I've got a sweet-payin' job that
I'm about to lose.
CAMERON
What'd you do to her?
PATRICK
I don ' t know.
(beat)
I decided not to nail her when she was
too drunk to remember it.
Michael and Cameron look at each other in realization, then
turn back to Patrick.
CAMERON
You realize this puts the whole operation in peril.
PATRICK
No shit. She won't even look at me
CAMERON
Why can't you just tell her you're sorry?
Patrick's expression says that this is not a possibility.
Michael makes a time out sign with his hands.
MICHAEL
I'm on it
INT. HALLWAY - DAY
Mandella is at her locker. Drawings of William Shakespeare
adorn the door. She looks at them with a sigh, then ties
her silk scarf tightly around her neck, in an attempt to cut
off her air supply.
Michael walks up.
MICHAEL
Hey there. Tired of breathing?
MANDELLA
(shyly, as she
loosens the scarf)
Hi.
MICHAEL
Cool pictures. You a fan?
MANDELLA
Yeah. I guess.
MICHAEL rocks. Very hip.
MANDELLA
You think?
MICHAEL
Oh yeah.
She looks at him suspiciously
MANDELLA
Who could refrain that had a heart to
love and in that heart, courage to make
' B love known?
Michael thinks for a minute.
MICHAEL
Macbeth, right?
MANDELLA
(happily stunned)
Right.
MICHAEL
Kat a fan, too?
MANDELLA
(puzzled)
Yeah...
He leans in close to her, conspiratorially
MICHAEL
So, listen... I have this friend
EXT. FIELD HOCKEY FIELD - DAY
Cameron sits next to Patrick on the bleachers as they watch
Kat's practice.
CAMERON
She hates you with the fire of a
thousand suns . That's a direct quote
PATRICK
She just needs time to cool off I'll
give it a day.
A PUCK flies at them from the field, narrowly missing their
heads.
PATRICK
(continuing)
Maybe two.
He looks at Cameron.
PATRICK
(continuing)
You makin' any headway?
CAMERON
She kissed me.
PATRICK
(eyebrow raised)
Where?
INT. HALLWAY - DAY
Chastity rounds the corner and bends down to get a drink
from the water fountain.
NEARBY
Joey stands talking to two JOCK COHORTS. The guys don't see
her.
JOEY
Don't talk to me about the sweetest
date. That little halo Bianca is gonna
be prone and proven on prom night. Six
virgins in a row.
The cohorts chortle Chastity keeps drinking from the
fountain
EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY
Joey leans against Patrick's Jeep. Patrick is inside.
PATRICK
I don't know, Dorsey. ..the limo.-the
flowers. Another hundred for the tux --
JOEY
Enough with the Barbie n' Ken shit. I
know.
He pulls out his wallet and hands Patrick a wad of money
JOEY
(continuing)
Take it
Patrick does, with a smile, as he ROARS out of the parking
lot.
INT. SCHOOL COURTYARD - DAY
Kat and Mandella deface a prom flyer.
KAT
Can you even imagine? Who the hell
would go to this a bastion of commercial
excess?
MANDELLA
Well, I guess we're not, since we don't
have dates .
KAT
Listen to you! You sound like Betty,
all pissed off because Archie is taking
Veronica.
MANDELLA
Okay, okay, we won't go. It's not like
I have a dress anyway
KAT
You ' re looking at this from the wrong
perspective. We're making a statement.
MANDELLA
(unconvinced)
Oh, good. Something new and different
for us.
EXT. ARCHERY FIELD - DAY
Mr. Chapin patrols as boys and girls shoot arrows at targets
Joey swaggers up to Bianca, who is taking careful aim.
Chastity watches from across the row.
JOEY
Hey, sweet cheeks.
BIANCA
(not looking at
him)
Hi, Joey.
JOEY
You're concentrating awfully hard
considering it's gym class.
She lets the arrow go and turns to look at him.
JOEY
(continuing)
Listen, I want to talk to you about the
prom.
BIANCA
You know the deal. I can ' t go if Kat
doesn't go --
In the background, a RASTA crumples to the ground. Hit
A casualty of Gym. Mr. Chapin scurries over.
JOEY
Your sister is going.
Bianca looks at him, surprised
BIANCA
Since when?
Joey takes the bow and arrow from Bianca's hand. He draws
back and takes aim.
JOEY
I'm taking care of it.
Chastity looks over from her spot on the field, but keeps
lips firmly shut.
INT. BOOK STORE - DAY
Kat browses through the feminist lit section
Patrick appears, through a hole in the books.
PATRICK
Excuse me, have you seen The Feminine
Mystique? I lost my copy.
KAT
(frowning)
What are you doing here?
PATRICK
I heard there was a poetry reading.
KAT
You 're so --
PATRICK
Pleasant?
Kat stares at him, deadpan.
PATRICK
(continuing)
Wholesome.
KAT
Unwelcome.
PATRICK
Unwelcome? I guess someone still has
her panties in a twist.
KAT
Don't for one minute think that you had
any effect whatsoever on my panties.
PATRICK
So what did I have an effect on ?
KAT
Other than my upchuck reflex? Nothing.
She pushes past him and heads out the' door
Pat looks down at the book he's been holding in his hand:
Taming of the Shrew.
INT. CAFETERIA - DAY
Cameron and Michael flank Patrick as he shovels food into
mouth.
PATRICK
You were right. She's still pissed.
MICHAEL
Sweet love, renew thy force!
PATRICK
Man -- don't say shit like that to me.
People can hear you.
CAMERON
(exasperated)
You humiliated the woman! Sacrifice
yourself on the altar of dignity and
even the score.
MICHAEL
Best case scenario, you're back on the
payroll for awhile.
PATRICK
What's the worst?
CAMERON
You get the girl.
Patrick thinks for a minute
PATRICK
If I go down. I'm takin' her with me
INT. ENGLISH CLASS - DAY
Kat and the other students sit at their desks, taking a quiz
Patrick's seat is conspicuously empty.
From outside, we hear the soft, unsure beginnings of a SONG.
Kat looks up, then out the window, HORRIFIED.
The song grows louder until we realize it's The Partridge
Family's "I Think I Love You". Being sung by Patrick.
PATRICK
(0. S.)
"This morning, I woke up with this
feeling, I didn't know how to deal with,
and so I just decided to myself--"
The STUDENTS rush to the window. OUTSIDE Patrick stands
beneath the window, crooning.
Scurvy is next to him, keeping the beat on the bongos and
doing backup vocal s.
PATRICK
"I'd hide it to myself. And never talk
about it. And didn't I go and shout it
when you walked into the room --"
He makes quite a sarcastic show of it.
IN THE CLASSROOM
Mrs. Blaise touches her heart, as if the song is for her.
Kat slowly walks to the window, peeking below.
OUTSIDE
Patrick smiles at her as he finishes the verse with a big
finale.
PATRICK
(continuing)
" I think I love you I "
INSIDE
The other students laugh, clap, cheer, etc. Kat sinks down,
mortified, but with a slight smile
INT. DETENTION HALL - DAY
Patrick and several other miscreants sit quietly, mulling
over their misfortune.
MISCREANT
Nice song, Verona.
PATRICK
Flog me.
He makes the appropriate hand gesture
Mr. Chapin, the gym teacher, sits at the desk in front,
ignoring them while he reads a girly weightlifting magazine
KAT (0. S.)
Excuse me, Mr. Chapin?
Patrick looks up at the sound of her voice and sees Kat
standing in the doorway. She gives him a smile and he perks
up a little.
Kat walks into the room and addresses Mr. Chapin again. He
turns fully to face her.
KAT
Sir, I'd like to state for the record
that Mr. Verona ' s current
incarceration is unnecessary. I never
filed a complaint.
MR. CHAPIN
You didn't have to. He disrupted a
classroom.
Kat glances over at Patrick and motions her head toward the
window.
Patrick shrugs, not knowing what she ' s talking about.
She motions again, and looks toward the window with an
expression that says, "Make a break for it, moron."
Kat brings her attention back to Mr. Chapin while Patrick
inches out of his seat toward the window.
The other miscreants watch with glee.
KAT
But, Mr. Chapin, I hardly think a
simple serenade warrants a week of
detention. There are far more hideous
acts than off-key singing being
performed by the student body on a
regular basis.
Patrick is halfway out the window now. And none too happy
about it, considering they're on the second floor.
He eyes a large TREE a few feet away from MR. CHAPIN. He
starts to turn away from Kat
MR. CHAPIN
You're not gonna change my mind, Kat.
Rules stick.
Kat starts to panic, as Patrick has yet to make the jump for
the tree.
KAT
Wait, Mr. Chapin. There's something
I've always wanted to show you.
He turns back toward her again, the very second before he
would have spotted Patrick.
Kat glances toward the window. Patrick's just about to make
the jump.
MR. CHAPIN
What?
KAT
These.
From behind, we see her lift up her shirt and flash her bra
at Mr. Chapin, just as Patrick makes the Jump.
The miscreants cheer, for both the daring' escape and the
flash of skin.
Mr. Chapin reddens and tries to be stern.
MR. CHAPIN
I'm going to let that slide, Katarina.
But if I catch you doing that again,
you'll be in here with the rest of these
guys.
He motions to the remaining detention prisoners, without
noticing Patrick's absence.
Kat smiles at him.
KAT
Thank you, Mr. Chapin.
Kat bolts out the door. Mr. Chapin goes back to his muscle
mag, wiping the sweat from his brow.
EXT. SCHOOL CAMPUS LAWN
Kat arrives at the tree. looking around breathlessly, seeing
no one.
KAT
He left! I sprung the dickhead and he
cruised on me.
PATRICK
(0. S.)
Look up, sunshine
She does. He's still in the tree
PATRICK
I guess I never told you I'm afraid of
heights.
KAT
(smiling)
C'mon. It's not that bad
PATRICK
Try lookin' at it from this angle
She assesses the branch structure
KAT
Put your right foot there --
PATRICK
Forget it. I'm stayin'.
KAT
You want me to climb up and show you
how to get down?
PATRICK
(voice trembling)
Maybe.
She sighs and dose so. When she gets to his level, she
perches on the branch next to him. He grins at her.
Then swings himself down with the grace and ease of a
monkey, leaving her sitting there, realizing she's been
duped.
KAT
You shit!
She climbs down after him
EXT. OUTDOOR ARCADE - DAY
Patrick and Kat walk amongst the games
KAT
The Partridge Family?
PATRICK
I figured it had to be something
ridiculous to win your respect. And
piss you off.
KAT
Good call.
PATRICK
So how'd you get Chapin to look the
other way?
KAT
I dazzled him with my wit
She stops and picks up a toy gun that SHOOTS water at
giggling hyenas and wails on it. The barker hands her a
stuffed animal as her prize. She hands it to the small KID
next to her and they continue walking.
PATRICK
(sarcastic)
A soft side? Who knew?
KAT
Yeah, well, don't let it get out
PATRICK
So what's your excuse?
KAT
Acting the way we do.
PATRICK
Yes
KAT
I don't like to do what people expect.
Then they expect it all the time and
they get disappointed when you change.
PATRICK
So if you disappoint them from the
start, you're covered?
KAT
Something like that
PATRICK
Then you screwed up
KAT
How?
PATRICK
You never disappointed me.
She blushes under his gaze
PATRICK
(continuing)
You up for it?
KAT
For. . . ?
He motions to the SIGN for a paint-ball game. She grins
SERIES OF SHOTS:
The two of them creep through the paint-ball course,
stealthy and full of the desire to best the other.
Patrick nails Kat in the back with a big glob of red paint
Kat gets him in the chest with a glob of blue.
Patrick returns fire with a big yellow splat to the side of
her face.
Kat squirts a green shot to his forehead After a few more
shots, they're both covered in paint
She tries to shoot him again, only to find that her gun is
empty.
KAT
(continuing)
Damn it!
Patrick grabs her in a victorious tackle. They land,
laughing.
It's hard to even recognize them, as their hair and faces
are so smeared with paint globs, but they still manage to
find each other's eyes.
He wipes a smear of blue paint away from her lips, as he
goes to kiss her.
NEARBY The kid with the stuffed animal, points
KID
Look, Mom
His mother hurries him away. What's started as a tackle has
turned into a passionate kiss
EXT. STRATFORD HOUSE - NIGHT
Patrick pulls up in Kat's driveway. Their paint wardrobe
has dried by now and they look like refugees from some
strange, yet colorful, war.
KAT
State trooper?
PATRICK
Fallacy.
KAT
The duck?
PATRICK
Hearsay.
KAT
I know the porn career's a lie.
He shuts off the car and turns to her.
PATRICK
Do you?
He kisses her neck. It tickles. She laughs.
KAT
Tell me something true.
PATRICK
I hate peas.
KAT
No -- something real. Something no one
else knows.
PATRICK
(in-between kisses)
You're sweet. And sexy. And
completely hot for me.
KAT
What?
PATRICK
No one else knows
KAT
You're amazingly self-assured. Has
anyone ever told you that?
PATRICK
Go to the prom with me
Kat's smile disappears.
KAT
Is that a request or a command?
PATRICK
You know what I mean
KAT
No.
PATRICK
No what?
KAT
No, I won't go with you
PATRICK
Why not?
KAT
Because I don't want to. It's a stupid
tradition.
Patrick sits quietly, torn. He can't very well tell her he
being paid to take her.
PATRICK
People won't expect you to go...
Kat turns to him, getting angry.
KAT
Why are you doing this?
KAT
All of it -- what's in it for you?
He sits silently, not looking at her, confirming her
suspicions.
KAT
(continuing)
Create a little drama? Start a new
rumor? What?
PATRICK
So I have to have a motive to be with
you?
KAT
You tell me.
PATRICK
You need therapy. Has anyone ever told
you that?
KAT
(quietly)
Answer the question, Patrick
PATRICK
(angry)
Nothing! There's nothing in it for me.
Just the pleasure of your company.
He takes out a cigarette. She breaks it in half before she
SLAMS the car door and walks into the house.
Patrick PEELS out of the driveway. Kat turns at the front
door and watches him go
EXT. STREET - NIGHT
Patrick pulls up to a stop light and waits for .the green
He glances over at A DRUNKEN HOMELESS GUY in the median, who
has decided that he doesn't need to wear pants.
Patrick pulls out his wallet, takes the wad of money Joey
gave him and hands it to the homeless guy.
PATRICK
cover that up
The light turns green and Patrick pulls away
INT. STRATFORD HOUSE/BATHROOM - NIGHT
Kat stands at the sink, scrubbing paint off of her face
Bianca TAPS on the open door.
BIANCA
Quick question -- are you going to the
prom?
Kat pushes the door shut with a SLAM
INT. STUDY HALL - DAY
Cameron and Bianca sit together at their study cubby. She
fingers a strand of her hair.
BIANCA
Then Guillermo says, "If you go any
lighter, you're gonna look like an extra
on 90210."
CAMERON
No...
Bianca stares at him for a moment.
BIANCA
do you listen to this crap?
CAMERON
What crap?
BIANCA
Me. This endless ...blonde babble. I'm
like, boring myself.
CAMERON
Thank God! If I had to hear one more
story about your coiffure...
He mock stabs himself with a pencil as she giggles and
smacks his hand away.
CAMERON
(continuing)
I figured you'd get to the good stuff
eventually.
BIANCA
What good stuff?
CAMERON
The "real you".
BIANCA
Like my fear of wearing pastels?
He looks stricken.
BIANCA
(continuing)
I'm kidding.
(beat)
You know how sometimes you just become
this "persona"? And you don't know how
to quit?
CAMERON
(matter of fact)
No
BIANCA
Okay -- you're gonna need to learn how
to lie.
INT. HALLWAY - DAY
Mandella struggles with the lock on her locker. Finally, it
opens.
Hanging inside is a beautiful DRESS, inspired by the 16th
Century. Mandella slowly unpins a NOTE from the dress.
INSERT - "0 FAIR ONE. JOIN ME AT THE PROM. I WILL BE
WAITING. LOVE, WILLIAM S."
Mandella's agog. Trevor walks by and sees her holding the
dress.
TREVOR
You're gonna look splendiferous in
that, Mandella.
Mandella looks up sharply, shaken from her reverie.
TREVOR
(continuing)
that's cool to say.
Mandella grins It is
MANDELLA
INT. STRATFORD HOUSE/DEN - DAY
Sharon is at her computer, Walter at his exercise bike
SHARON
Would you rather be ravished by a
pirate or a British rear admiral?
WALTER
Pirate -- no question.
Bianca enters and walks over to Walter
BIANCA
Daddy, I want to discuss the prom with
you. It's tomorrow night --
WALTER
The prom? Kat has a date?
BIANCA
No, but
WALTER
It's that hot rod Joey, right? That ' s
who you want me to bend my rules for?
BIANCA
He's not a "hot rod". Whatever that
is.
WALTER
You're not going unless your sister
goes. End of story.
BIANCA
Fine. I see that I'm a prisoner in my
own house. I'm not a daughter. I'm a
possession!
Bianca storms out.
WALTER
(calling out)
You know what happens at proms?
Sharon stops her typing and looks up at Walter
SHARON
They'll dance, they'll kiss, they'll
come home. Let her go.
WALTER
Kissing? Is that what you think
happens? Kissing isn't what keeps me up
to my elbows in placenta all day.
INT. BIANCA'S ROOM - NIGHT
Bianca lies on her bed. MTV blares. A KNOCK sounds.
BIANCA
Come in.
Kat enters and sits down on the bed, muting the TV.
KAT
(kindly)
Listen, I know you hate having to sit
home because I'm not Susie High School.
BIANCA
Like you care.
KAT
I do care. But I'm a firm believer in
doing something for your own reasons,
not someone else ' s .
BIANCA
I wish I had that luxury. I'm the only
sophomore that got asked to the prom and
I can't go, because you won ' t.
Kat clears her throat
KAT
Joey never told you we went out, did
he?
BIANCA
What?
KAT
In 9th. For a month
BIANCA
(confused)
Why?
KAT
(self-mocking)
He was, like, a total babe
BIANCA
But you hate Joey
KAT
Now I do. Back then, was a different
story.
BIANCA
As in...
Kat takes a deep breath.
KAT
He said everyone was doing it. So I
did it.
BIANCA
You did what?
KAT
(continuing on)
Just once. Afterwards, I told him I
didn't want to anymore. I wasn't ready.
He got pissed. Then he broke up with
me.
Bianca stares at her, dumbfounded
BIANCA
But
KAT
After that, I swore I'd never do
anything just because "everyone else"
was doing it. And I haven't since.
Except for Bogey's party, and my
stunning gastro-intestinal display --
BIANCA
(stunned)
Why didn't you tell me?
KAT
I wanted to let you make up your own
mind about him.
BIANCA
No. you didn't! If you really thought
I could make my own decisions, you
would've let me go out with him instead
of helping Daddy hold me hostage.
Kat stands up slowly
KAT
That's not
BIANCA
I'm not stupid enough to repeat your
mistakes.
KAT
I guess I thought I was protecting you.
BIANCA
God, you're just like him! Just keep me
locked away in the dark, so I can't
experience anything for myself
KAT
Not all experiences are good, Bianca.
You can't always trust the people you
want to.
BIANCA
I guess I'll never know, will I?
She rises and holds the door open for Kat, then slams it
behind her.
EXT. STRATFORD HOUSE - DAY
A sprinkler cruises the lawn.
INT. KAT'S ROOM - DAY
Kat lies in bed, staring at the ceiling. She rolls over and
picks up the phone.
BIANCA'S ROOM - DAY
Bianca, still in her pajamas, eats a bowl of cereal while
watching "I Love Lucy" reruns.
A KNOCK sounds
BIANCA
Come in.
Kat opens the door and peers in with a grin
KAT
Feel like shopping?
Bianca looks up, hopefully.
LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Walter and Sharon are in front of the television. Walter
has the TV Guide in hand, glasses on.
WALTER
What do you wanna watch? We've got
crap, crap, crap or crap
SHARON
Dr. Ruth?
Bianca walks into the living room. She's wearing a prom
dress.
BIANCA
Hi, Mommy.
(looking away)
WALTER
Walter scurries takes off his glasses and looks from Bianca
to Sharon.
SHARON
Honey, you look beautiful!
BIANCA
You like? My date should be here in
five.
WALTER
I'm missing something.
BIANCA
I have a date, Daddy. And he ' s not a
captain of oppression like some men we
know.
The DOORBELL RINGS. Bianca runs to open it. There stands
CAMERON. He takes in Bianca's outfit.
CAMERON
Wow
BIANCA
Let's go.
Walter rises. Sharon pulls him back down on the couch
SHARON
(to Bianca)
Have a great time, honey!
WALTER
But -- who -- what --?
The door SLAMS. As Sharon looks at Walter with a grin, a
blur rushes down the stairs and out the door. The blur has
Kat ' s voice.
KAT
Hey, guys. I'm going to the prom. See
you in a few.
The door SLAMS again. Walter and Sharon 'are alone
WALTER
What just happened?
SHARON
Your daughters went to the prom.
WALTER
Did I have anything to say about it?
SHARON
Absolutely not.
WALTER
That ' s what I thought
The DOORBELL RINGS again. Walter opens it to find Joey on
the porch, wearing a tux.
JOEY
I'm here to pick up Bianca.
WALTER
late
He SLAMS the door shut
EXT HOTEL PARKING LOT - NIGHT
Kat pulls up in her car, emerging resplendent in an ice
gown.
Patrick sits on the steps, waiting. In a tux.
KAT
How'd you get a tux at the last minute?
PATRICK
It's Scurvy's. His date got convicted.
Where'd you get the dress?
KAT
It's just something I had. You know
PATRICK
(smiling)
Oh huh
KAT
Look, I'm -- sorry -- that I
questioned your motives. I was wrong.
Patrick winces slightly, but covers it with a smile
PATRICK
No prob.
He remains seated. Kat fidgets nervously.
KAT
are you ready?
He rises and stares at her, taking in her image
appreciatively. She blushes and turns away.
KAT
(continuing)
C'mon. Let's get this over with.
INT. PROM - NIGHT
A hotel ballroom transformed into a fantasy world. Patrick
and Kat enter, Kat attempting to deny the romance of it.
KAT
Quite the ostentatious display
A cowboy two-steps by them, dragging some poor girl around
PATRICK
Look, Clem even wore his good boots
Kat steps forward, looking around and spots Cameron and
Bianca dancing cheek to cheek. She smiles.
ACROSS THE ROOM
Mandella enters nervously, in the long Elizabethan gown,
hair piled on top of her head. She spots Kat and hurries
over.
MANDELLA
Have you seen him?
KAT
Who?
MANDELLA
William - he asked me to meet him here.
KAT
Oh, honey -- tell me we haven't'
progressed to full-on hallucinations.
Patrick looks toward the door and taps Kat. She turns and
points Mandella the same way.
Michael - in full Shakespearean dress with a new goatee on
his chin - bows in their direction. Mandella's grin couldn't
be bigger.
Michael swashbuckles over to them, taking Mandella's hand
and leading her onto the dance floor.
MICHAEL
Mi' lady.
(to Patrick)
Good sir.
Patrick rolls his eyes.
INT. PROM - NIGHT - LATER
Kat and Patrick dance to a slow SONG. Whatever he's
whispering into her ear is making her laugh.
Cam and Bianca dance nearby, glowing with happiness. She
whispers something in his ear and heads for the ladies' room
INT. LADIES ROOM - NIGHT
Bianca walks in, positively radiant. Chastity emerges from a
stall.
BIANCA
(surprised)
What are you doing here?
Chastity checks her hair in the mirror, aloof.
CHASTITY
You think you ' re the only sophomore
at the prom?
BIANCA
I did.
Chastity maintains her snooty tone.
CHASTITY
And just so you know, my date isn't
planning on spending most of the night
in his backseat.
BIANCA What're you talking about?
CHASTITY
Joey Dorsey is only after one thing - -
your cherry. He practically made a
public announcement.
Appalled, Bianca storms out. Chastity tries to backpedal.
CHASTITY
(continuing)
I wanted to tell you
INT. PROM - NIGHT
Joey, drunk, disorderly and pissed off, walks in with a few
stray jocks - also dateless. He zeroes in on Cameron, now
consoling a pissed-off Bianca.
Patrick and Kat continue to slow dance, oblivious to the
evil about to erupt.
PATRICK
My grandmother's .
KAT
What?
PATRICK
That's where I was last year. She'd
never lived alone -- my grandfather died
-- I stayed with her. I wasn't in jail,
I don't know Marilyn Manson, and I've
never slept with a Spice Girl. I spent
a year sitting next to my grandma on the
couch watching Wheel of Fortune. End of
story.
He takes a breath and looks away, not meeting her eyes. Kat
stares at him for a moment and laughs a delighted laugh
KAT
That ' s completely adorable!
PATRICK
It gets worse -- you still have your
freshman yearbook?
He's interrupted by Joey's hand on his shoulder.
JOEY
What's Bianca doing here with that
cheese dick? I didn't pay you to let
some little punk ass snake me.
ACROSS THE ROOM
Michael spots the altercation and dances Mandella over to
Cameron and Bianca.
MICHAEL
(to Cameron)
Feces hitting fan. C'mon
Michael takes Cameron aside, leaving Mandella and Bianca
staring after them.
ACROSS THE ROOM
Michael and Cameron approach Joey as he continues to taunt
Patrick who keeps quiet, realizing the weight of this
situation.
MICHAEL
(continuing)
Joey, pal, compadre. Let's take it
easy.
Joey turns toward Michael and Cameron.
JOEY You two are in big trouble
Cameron faces Joey.
CAMERON
Admit it. You lost. Be a man.
Joey PUNCHES Cameron in the face, taking him by surprise
Cameron holds his nose as it bleeds onto his tux
The various cliques descend angrily and Joey is soon
surrounded by seething Cowboys, Coffee Kids and White
Rastas.
DEREK
Very uncool, my brother
JOEY
I'm not your brother, white boy.
The other Rastas GASP, as if stung by the realization that
they're white.
Joey turns back to Patrick and Kat.
JOEY
(continuing)
Just so you know -- she'll only spread
her legs once.
Kat looks from Joey to Patrick, not sure what she's hearing.
Joey pushes through the crowd but a HAND drags him back.
It's Bianca. And she BELTS the hell out of him
BIANCA
That's for making my date bleed
She BELTS him again
BIANCA
(continuing)
That's for my sister.
And AGAIN
BIANCA
(continuing)
And that's for me.
Cliques now descend on Joey, punching him wildly.
COWBOY
And that's for the fourth grade,
asshole.
HOTEL - NIGHT
KAT runs down the stairs, Patrick chasing her
PATRICK
Wait I...
KAT
You were paid to take me out! By --
the one person I truly hate. I knew it
was a set-up!
PATRICK
It wasn't like that.
KAT
Really? What was it like? A down
payment now, then a bonus for sleeping
with me?
PATRICK
I didn't care about the money.
He catches up to her now
PATRICK
(continuing)
I cared about --
She turns to face him with a countenance more in sorrow than
in anger.
KAT
You are so not what I thought you were.
He grabs her and kisses her to shut her up. After a second,
she jerks away and flees down the stairs and out of sight.
Bianca stands at the top of the stairs, watching. She's
never looked more guilty.
INT. STRATFORD HOUSE - DAY
Kat is sprawled on the couch in sweats, wrapped in a
blanket, watching "Sixteen Candles". When Molly Ringwald
leans across the birthday cake to get a kiss from her dream
date, Kat changes the channel disgustedly, settling for an
infomercial
The phone sits next to her. Not ringing. Bianca breezes
in, bearing a cup of tea.
BIANCA
Are you sure you don't want to come
with us? It'll be fun.
Kat takes the tea and gives a weak smile.
KAT
I ' m sure .
Bianca sits down next to her
BIANCA
You looked beautiful last night, you
know.
KAT
So did you
Bianca gives her a squeeze, then jumps up when the DOORBELL
rings, opening the door to a waiting Cameron. He peeks his
head inside.
CAMERON
She okay?
BIANCA
I hope so.
The door shuts behind her as Walter enters.
WALTER
Was that your sister?
KAT
Yeah. She left with some bikers Big
ones. Full of sperm.
WALTER
Funny.
Walter sits down on the arm of the chair and watches the
infomercial with Kat.
WALTER
(continuing)
I don't understand the allure of
dehydrated food. Is this something I
should be hip to?
KAT
No, Daddy.
WALTER
(dreading the
answer)
So tell me about this dance. Was it
fun?
KAT
Parts of it.
WALTER
Which parts?
KAT
The part where Bianca beat the hell out
of some guy.
WALTER
Bianca did what?
KAT
What's the matter? Upset that I rubbed
off on her?
WALTER
No -- impressed.
Kat looks up in surprise.
WALTER
(continuing)
You know, fathers don't like to admit
that their daughters are capable of
running their own lives. It means we've
become spectators. Bianca still lets me
play a few innings. You've had me on
the bleachers for years. When you go to
Sarah Lawrence, I won't even be able to
watch the game.
KAT
(hopeful)
When I go?
WALTER
Oh, Christ. Don't tell me you've
changed your mind. I already sent 'em a
check.
Kat reaches over and gives him a hug
INT. CAFETERIA - DAY Kat stands grabs a box of cornflakes
from the food line.
CAMERON (0. S.)
Katarina?
She turns and looks at him
CAMERON
I'd like to express my apologies.
KAT
For what?
CAMERON
(looking down)
I didn't mean for you to get -- When
Bianca asked me to find you a boyfriend,
I had no idea it would turn out so --
ugly. I would never have done anything
to compromise your - - -
He trails off when he realizes she's thrown her food tray
against the wall and marched off -- the old "kill, kill"
look back in her eyes.
INT. HALLWAY - DAY
Kat stomps up the hallway, full of menace
CLASSROOM - DAY
Bianca's English teacher perches on the edge of a desk, open
book in hand.
TEACHER
Who can tell me at what point Lucentio
admits his deception?
The door of the classroom FLIES open and an angry Kat stalks
in, yanking Bianca from her chair and dragging her toward
the hallway.
KAT
(to the teacher)
Family emergency.
HALLWAY - DAY
Bianca tries to pull away as Kat drags her by the hair
between two rows of lockers.
BIANCA
Let go!
KAT
You set me up.
BIANCA
I just wanted --
KAT
What? To completely damage me? To send
me to therapy forever? What?
BIANCA
No! I just wanted
Miss Perky walks up
MISS PERKY
Ladies? Shall we take a trip to my
office?
INT. MISS PERKY'S OFFICE - DAY
Miss Perky stares at both sisters as they sit before her,
then focuses on Bianca.
MISS PERKY
So you're the real bitch
BIANCA
Yes! Okay? Yes -- I'm the real bitch.
I wanted her to get a boyfriend so I
could. Apparently, this makes me a
horrible person. I'm sorry.
She turns to Kat.
BIANCA
(continuing)
I swear -- I didn't know about the
money. I didn't even know Joey was
involved. I would never intentionally
hurt you, Kat.
MISS PERKY
(to Kat)
Do you care to respond?
KAT
Am I supposed to feel better? Like,
right now? Or do I have some time to
think about it?
MISS PERKY
Just smack her now.
Bianca rises, taking Kat by the arm.
BIANCA
(to Miss Perky)
We'll be getting back to you.
MISS PERKY
What, no hug?
HALLWAY - DAY
And Bianca leave Miss Perky's office
BIANCA
Is that woman a complete fruit-loop or
is it just me?
KAT
It's just you.
ENGLISH CLASS - DAY
Mrs. Blaise faces the class
MRS. BLAISE
All right. I'm assuming everyone found
time to compose, their poems. Except for
Mr. Dorsey, who's still in ICU.
Nerds in the back high-five each other.
MRS. BLAISE
(continuing)
Would anyone care to read theirs aloud?
No one moves. Then Kat slowly stands up.
KAT
I'11 go
Patrick looks up.
MRS. BLAISE
Oh, Lord.
She downs a couple Prozac
MRS. BLAISE
(continuing)
Please proceed.
Kat stands, puts on her glasses, and takes a deep breath
before reading from her notebook.
KAT
I hate the way you talk to me/ and the
way you cut your hair/ I hate the way
you drive my car/ I hate it when you
stare.
She pauses, then continues
KAT
(continuing)
I hate your big dumb combat boots/ and
the way you read my mind/ I hate you so
much it makes me sick/ it even makes me
rhyme.
She takes a deep breath, and looks quickly at Patrick, who
stares at the floor.
KAT
(continuing)
I hate the way you're always right/ I
hate it when you lie/ I hate it when you
make me laugh/ even worse when you make
me cry/ I hate it that you're not
around/ and the fact that you didn't
call/ But mostly I hate the way I don '
t hate you/ not even close, not even a
little bit, not even any at all.
She looks directly at Patrick. He looks back this time.
The look they exchange says everything.
Then she walks out of the room The rest of the class remains
in stunned silence.
EXT. PARKING LOT - MOMENTS LATER
Kat walks to her car alone. When she opens the door, she's
greeted with a Fender Stratocaster guitar, reclining in the
front seat.
She picks it up slowly, inspecting every detail, then spins
around.
Patrick stands there, smiling.
KAT
A Fender Strat. You bought this?
PATRICK
I thought you could use it. When you
start your band.
She doesn't answer, but hides a smile, so he walks closer.
PATRICK
(continuing)
Besides, I had some extra cash. Some
asshole paid me to take out a really
great girl.
KAT
Is that right?
PATRICK
Yeah, but then I fucked up. I fell for
her.
Blushes and looks down.
PATRICK
(continuing)
You know -- it's not every day you find
a girl who'll flash her tits to get you
out of detention.
Looks up. surprised and embarrassed that he found out
He takes her upturned face as a sign to kiss her and he does
She lets him this time.
Then breaks it off
KAT
You can't just buy me a guitar every
time you screw up, you know.
He grimaces.
PATRICK
I know
He quiets her with another kiss Which she breaks off again.
KAT
And don't just think you can
He kisses her again, not letting her end it this time.
STRATFORD HOUSE - SUNSET
We hear the sounds of MUSIC and LAUGHTER.
STRATFORD HOUSE/BACKYARD - SUNSET
Patrick is at the barbecue grill, flipping burgers. Kat
watches.
KAT
Why is my veggie burger the only burnt
object on this grill?
PATRICK
Because I like to torture you.
KAT
Oh, Bianca? Can you get me my freshman
yearbook?
PATRICK
Don ' t you even dare. . .
ON BIANCA AND CAMERON As they argue on the patio.
CAMERON
They do to!
BIANCA
They do not!
Rises to get the yearbook.
CAMERON
Can someone please tell her that
sunflower seeds come from sunflowers?
ON MICHAEL AND MANDELLA
Severely making-out in a lawn chair. She comes up for a
breath.
MANDELLA
I can't remember a word of Shakespeare
right now. Isn't that weird?
Michael pulls her back down for another round ON KAT AND
PATRICK
She tries to keep him from grabbing the yearbook that Bianca
now hands her.
KAT
You're freaked over this, aren't you?
Bianca hands her the yearbook
BIANCA
He's more than freaked. He's froke
Flips to a page.
KAT
I'd like to call your attention to
Patrick Verona's stunning bad-ass look
of 1995 ---
INSERT - A horrifically nerdy freshman year picture Glasses,
bad hair, headgear -- the works.
She holds up the picture for all to view. Patrick cringes
and throws a handful of pretzels at her.
BIANCA
Patrick -- is that- a.
KAT
Perm?
PATRICK
Ask my attorney.
Kat and Bianca huddle over the picture, giggling -- as we
CRANE UP and hear a GIRLY PUNK version of The Partridge
Family's "I Think I Love You".
FADE OUT:
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